Monday, August 28, 2006

U.S. Postage Stamp Honors Shop Customers!

The U.S. Postal Service has issued this stamp featuring the first and so far only people known to have purchased Zymoglyphic-branded apparel from the museum shop. This daring couple plunged into unknown retail waters some 2 1/2 years ago and are now rewarded with owning a pearl of great rarity, as well as being thrust into the avant garde of the fashion world. The resale value of rare Zymoglyphic merchandise is literally incalculable as none has as yet been offered for sale. The couple's name is being withheld in order to forestall any rumors that the shop has yet to make an apparel sale outside the curator's immediate family.

-- Museum Shop Marketing Dept.


Saturday, July 22, 2006

Museum Shop - Staff Announcement

The Zymoglyphic Museum Shop is pleased to announce a new addition to its staff. Cheeky Pete the Clown is now in charge of the shop's drinkware division. He comes to the museum through the joint good graces of Shad McConnell of Portland, Oregon, and Judith Hoffman, of San Mateo, California, to whom the museum is greatly indebted. Mr. Clown faces a considerable challenge as the museum shop has not as yet sold a single mug or stein. However, we believe his seemingly eternal optimism will help to turn the situation around, preferably a full 360 degrees. In addition, we are confident that staff and patrons will now refrain making insensitive references to "those clowns running the shop". Visitors to the museum may rest assured that, like many celebrities, Mr. Clown is much smaller in person.

-- The Museum Staff


Saturday, March 18, 2006

Thong Controversy

In a misguided attempt to "sex up" the museum shop's offerings and get sales moving from their current abysmal numbers, the museum's marketing department has decided to offer Zymoglyphic-branded thongs for sale. These items feature the same "flying-mummified-mouse" design which has proved so unpopular for the hats. This idea immediately ran into trouble with the Good Taste Review Board, which nixed the accompanying marketing campaign. However, the thong is still available for purchase. As a special treat for "behind-the-scenes" web log readers, the proposed campaign may be seen here. The models are "The Three Graces" by Raphael. The background image is taken from Wikipedia which states that the image may be "freely...exploited in any way by anyone for any purpose, commercial or non-commercial". We have taken "exploited" fairly literally here. Our spokesmodel Ileana, shown here, is not sure what to make of all this.

-- Museum Staff


Friday, January 27, 2006

Museum Shop - 2005 Financial Report

The 2005 sales figures for the museum shop have been tallied. The actual value is a closely guarded secret; however, we can say that it is in the low two digits. The actual number of items sold could reportedly be counted, with little effort, on the fingers on one hand. The bonus for purchasers of museum merchandise is that any items that are purchased are likely to become collector's items due to their extreme rarity (this according to the marketing department). However, we can report that positive steps are being taken. New items have been added to the roster of merchandise. In 2005, we hired a winsome spokesmodel, Ileana, shown here reacting to the financial news. At the shop, she turns on the charm to show museum patrons just how fashionable our merchandise can be. Customers may rest assured that if she is wearing it, it is indeed in the best of taste.

-- The Museum Staff